Life in a Smoky Haze

Low fire danger, huh? I'd hate to see what it's like around here when it's catastrophic! - image from http://abc.com.au

Whenever spring rolls around, I feel like I come out of some sort of coma. The urge to veg out on the couch and neglect life seems to vanish and I actually want to get up and do things. I had a good stint there where the house was kind of tidy, the washing pile wasn't engulfing one side of the house, and I even created a cute little vege garden -- which is a pretty decent feat when you consider our location. But then, one day, everyone went batshit insane and decided that burning down Alice Springs would be an awesome idea. It's kinda hard to stay motivated when everything is on fire.

We've been plagued by a lingering smoke cloud for over a month now. It actually rained ash yesterday. I kid you not. No-one can even tell the difference between the ash cloud and actual clouds anymore. It's eerie -- the sun is red and the sky is brown. It stinks like smoke. People with breathing difficulties have been advised to stay indoors, and the little critters of Alice Springs are starting drop dead from pneumonia. My eyes sting and I feel like I'm on the cusp of a flu. Except I'm not. Instead, I'm being poisoned by morons who think it's funny to burn down the town. I do not understand what the appeal is!

There have only been two times in my life when I've caused a fire that wasn't in a contained environment. The first one was when I was five. The kid from down the street thought it would be awesome to have a little bonfire of our own. So, he stole his dad's lighter and I gathered up some old newspapers, twigs and some kindling. We bundled it all together in the corner of my parent's backyard and giggled with excitement as we lit the paper. Being five, we didn't think that perhaps the fire would travel fast or that the cyclone ringlock fence wouldn't stop the fire from spreading to our next door neighbours' scrub riddled backyard. We paniced. He ran home, and I went inside as if nothing had happened. Thank goodness my parents noticed the smoke in the meantime. I tried to blame it on my 2 year old brother, like any self respecting five year old does.

The second one was a few months ago. Let's just say that cheap fireworks in the hands of utter novices are a bad idea. If someone offers you a massive pack of "Bumblebee" crackers and your house backs onto scrublands, DON'T USE THEM! I swear I nearly broke my foot throwing myself over the two metre fence with a bucket and a pair of flip flops to try and put out the rapidly growing blaze. I shudder to think what kind of damage we would have caused with the bigger, monster fireworks that we brought out later that night when we'd smashed back a whole lotta booze and had let our inner bogans free:-

Thankfully, we didn't spark any more fire emergencies that night. I thought, if Alice Springs was ever going to burn to the ground, it probably would have been on Territory Day. I was wrong. Apparently the pyromaniacs saved themselves for September. I really cannot understand their motivations. The Alice Springs Fire Brigade are dead-set heroes.

I think I speak for 99% of the population when I say this: STOP BURNING SHIT, YOU IDIOTS!
No love,Neri